. . . Kim Wheaton.Birth Doula . . .

Felicity's Birth

2011-10-06T13:40:00.012-05:00

About nine months ago, I got an unexpected call from one of my best friends, Tara, telling me she was pregnant!! Tara and her husband live in Canada, so it's not super easy keeping in touch, but through email and phone conversations here and there, we were able to discuss her pregnancy and what she wanted for her birth. It was such a joy to be able to share my birth story with her, encouraging her to be confident in her Creator and in her body, and not to be fearful! It was also a huge blessing to get to spend some time with her when they came home to visit over the summer. Tara chose to go with a group of midwives (who happen to be abundant up in Canada!), and to deliver in a hospital. She also hired a wonderful doula :)

Here's her story...

"Tuesday, September 27th Clinton and I woke up to a beautiful sunny day at around 7 a.m. I had gotten up around 4:30 in the morning, felt a bit of discomfort in my tummy, but was able to go back to sleep for a bit. Clinton got ready for work and I told him that I would give him a call if things felt different or more intense. So he left and I jumped in the bathtub. I called my good friend Kimo, who is a doula in Illinois, and asked her if what I was feeling might be signs of early labor. She thought that they were and I before I hung up the phone I told her that if I didn’t call her at 1:00 for our scheduled chat she would know why! :o) I then called my doula, Vivian, who we hired in Calgary. She agreed that I was showing signs of early labor and told me to call her whenever I was ready to meet her at the hospital. I called up Clinton and asked him if he would come home, he had only been at school for a half hour. He got home around 9:00 and by this time I was feeling the waves of contractions. Before he got home I had also called my mom and my sister-in-law, Michelle, to tell them that I was in labor and to be praying!

I tried to keep myself busy, cutting my nails and shaving my legs, but as we started timing my contractions we found them to be coming almost every three minutes and lasting 30-40 seconds. Clinton paged our midwife team and Nadine told him that those were pretty close together, and she wanted them to last about a minute to know that active labor was in effect. She was making a house call but would be coming over right after. She showed up somewhere around 11:30 and checked me out only to find that I was already 8 cm dilated. :o) So… a decision had to be made whether we were going to go to the hospital or stay home. Nadine told me that everything was going fine, she had listened to the baby’s heartbeat and said we could stay at home if I wished or go to the hospital, whichever I preferred, it was my choice. I had my hospital bag packed (3 weeks earlier) and had written in my birth plan that that was where I would deliver. I started getting dressed and Clinton told Vivian (doula) to head to the hospital to meet us there. There were no rooms at the Foothills hospital (only 10 minutes away) so we would be going to Rocky View (about a 40 minute drive). I sat at the top of the stairs having another strong contraction and I thought- I don’t know if I can do this in the car. Thinking that I was already 8 cm, who knows how long the rest of my labor would be and why would I want to spend an uncomfortable 40 minutes in the car going through active labor. So I decided to stay home. I had an emergency stash of supplies- garbage bags, old towels, wash cloths- ready to go just in case. I was also comfortable about the idea of a homebirth, not worried about complications because I knew the midwives were skilled enough to let me know if there was any reason for concern and we would need to go to the hospital. The only thing that worried me was the potential mess, which didn’t really happen due to my prepared supplies and all of the things the midwives carry in their car in the event that we do a home birth.

Clinton helped me work through some more intense contractions and also put a focal point in front of me on the bathroom sink; it was the Willow statue I gave him when I told him I was pregnant (a dad holding a little baby and the mom kneeling beside them). As I sat on the toilet (my birthing stool) :o) I kept my gaze on the little baby, that looked like a little peanut, and inside kept telling myself that each contraction was getting me closer to meeting my little one! Vivian arrived around 12:30 and joined right in. She massaged my neck and her and Clinton took turns refilling my water and putting cool cloths on my neck and forehead. Her gentle nature was soothing and her encouraging words continued to help me relax and focus on my goal. After a while I moved to the bathtub…not to have a water birth, just to ease some of the pain. :o) Clinton became my birth stool and sat in his bathing suit on the edge of the bathtub while I propped myself up on his legs and went through a few more heavier contractions. Nadine stayed out of the way, getting things set up for the delivery and continuously checking the baby’s heart rate to make sure things were good. But she also gave me encouraging words through my contractions, telling me I was doing a good job and telling Peanut to come out soon because mommy wants to meet you! The only times Clinton left my side was to go to the bathroom and grab a small snack. While he was eating a fruit bar and the wrapper was crinkling I asked him, in my most polite “contraction” voice…do you think you could eat that later. Ha ha… the funny thing is that when Vivian was going through the snacks I packed I asked her if she could pass me the Swedish berries, which she eagerly handed over! In between contractions I was munching on Swedish berries, my favorite candy- BIG SURPRISE, eh? :o) While in the tub, the other midwife, Claire, arrived and the first thing she said to me was “you’re going to have your baby in the sunshine!” as the light was coming in through the bathroom window. It really was a gorgeous day!

[So peaceful, just before pushing]

Nadine asked me if I wanted to move to the bed and since I’ve never pushed before she would coach me through that. Claire came in as a support and gave me position advice and also made me laugh when the Doppler gel splashed in her eye. She also warmed up some wash clothes with lavendar and put them on my feet…the aromatherapy was refreshing and calming! In the background the IPOD was playing Celtic Women which was soothing Irish music that Claire said was a nice way to welcome my baby. As I laid in bed, Clinton and Vivian held my hands and pushed on a pressure point on my shoulders in between my pushing to speed up contractions. Nadine guided me on how and when to push and breath. Everyone had such encouraging comments... Clinton- "I love you, I'm proud of you" and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!” – he repeated that to me in English and in Spanish several times throughout the whole labor. Vivian – “you’re doing great, nice rhythm in your breathing!” Nadine – “good job, love!" Claire – “that’s good, take your rest, keep breathing.” I kept thinking to myself, this is painful, but I am handling it. It is not at all what I thought it would feel like, it’s not THAT bad! Crazy, I know…but God truly was giving me the strength and the peace to just allow my body to do what He created it to do. After a little while of pushing Nadine had me reach down and feel the head….so amazing!!! At this point I knew I was going to meet my baby very, very soon! Vivian took a video of Clinton and me saying one last thing before we were going to meet baby Peanut. Then after another good push the head was out…you could see the full head of dark hair and in my next push the rest was out. I pushed for a total of 40 minutes, some in the bathtub and the rest in bed. They placed the baby right on my chest face down and Clinton and I rejoiced in the new arrival of our child! Clinton said “I’d like to call you by name but I don’t know what you are.” So I lifted Peanut up to inspect and said “It’s a girl, her name’s Felicity!” Then just to make sure I asked “It’s a girl, right?” and Nadine and Clinton moved the umbilical cord out of the way and confirmed it… ha ha! :o)

The next few moments were the most special in the world! Clinton was crying, I was too overjoyed to cry (I didn’t cry at all during my labor)! We listened to the new screams of Felicity Catherine and we laughed together at the sight of our beautiful baby girl! She wasn’t all cleaned up yet, but she was so perfect and warm as she laid on my chest and in not too much time was already looking to nurse. :o) Claire helped me out with the football hold and some breastfeeding tips.

I asked Nadine if there was any tearing and she said that looking carefully at things, she would feel more comfortable if we went to the hospital for suturing there. To keep this part short, I had a third degree tear. There’s no specific reason that can determine why I tore the way I did. The doctor that did my stiches said it happens to 1 in 1000. She was the best OB at that hospital, according to Nadine, and she did things quickly and very well. I was happy that Nadine was honest and wise enough to tell me that we needed to go and get things done at the hospital since it was such a rare and bad tear. It was definitely not expected to do things so backwards- have a home birth, then have to go to the hospital, but it actually made me feel SO grateful for the fact that I had Felicity at home. I was so relaxed and that’s why everything went so quickly. I was comfortable in my bathroom, my bathtub, my bed. I had a great team supporting me. The sunshine, music, focal point, and snacks were all helpful tools to aid in a relaxing and rewarding delivery! The trip to the hospital was the worst part of the day, but the fact that the three of us got to sleep in our bed (a birthing bed :o) our first night as a family was so awesome. I'm still amazed at how great Felicity’s birth was! Praise God!!!"

[Tara and her birth team (minus Clinton): her doula, two midwives, and of course baby Felicity]

What a story!!

As I heard bits and pieces of the story from them, I was so suprised and amazed at how her birth unfolded! For instance, how FAST it all happened!! I swear I couldn't even tell she was in labor (by her voice) when she called me at 9 in the morning, and she was 8CM by 11:30? WHAT!!? I had talked to her during the weeks leading up to her birth, and she was just so at peace about her impending labor. Totally calm and confident, with not a trace of fear or worry in her. And I'm sure that her heart's demeanor contributed to her speedy labor.

She e-mailed me later in the morning letting me know that her midwife was on her way over "just to check on me." What a dream! Your midwife coming to your house just to see how you're doing? So cool.

And obviously, the biggest shocker of all, that she made the decision, while she was in labor, to have this baby at home!! What an absolute privilege to have that kind of flexibility with her midwives. She actually called me about a week before her due date asking me what I thought about homebirth, saying that she and Clinton were considering it, but would probably stick with the hospital. The fact that she had the ability to make that kind of a decision so close to the end of her pregnancy (let alone in the middle of labor!) astounded me.

Just hearing about how encouraging everyone was to her, how each member of her birth team had just the right words at just the right time, was so incredible. I truly believe that everything that was orchestrated together for her birth contributed to her smooth, fast, labor, and her ability to cope with it so well. I could not be more happy for Tara and the beautiful, peaceful birth she was blessed with.

And as for our next birth, someone box me up and ship me to Canada ;)

A Summer in the Life of a Doula

2011-09-12T20:12:00.000-05:00

Wow! It's been a long time since I've posted here... probably because I've been at BIRTHS all summer!! I had a wonderful three months of doula-ing, and last week was my final follow-visit for my last birth of the summer. Here's a recap of what I've been up to (with names changed) ...

May's birth
In April (I know that's not technically summer, but it was such an awesome birth that I wanted to throw it in :), I had the privilege of attending an incredible and insanely FAST vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean)!! May had gone into her first birth as most moms do, not really educating herself about labor and birth, and she ended up having "the works" in the hospital. Pitocin, epidural, c-section. I loved May so much because she took the traumatic experience of her first birth and used it to change and grow and become a stronger woman. And let me tell you--she is strong. Her entire labor was LESS THAN THREE HOURS and completely intense the ENTIRE time. It was actually kind of funny, because we had spent so much time prenatally preparing for a totally "zen" type of labor, with calming visualization and relaxation techniques, and we used absolutely none of it. But it was awesome. She called me at about 1pm, saying that her water broke, I met them at the hospital at about 3pm, and baby was born at 3:22. It. Was. Insane. And completely beautiful.

Christine's birth
Christine's water broke at 10pm about a week before her due date--the first week of May. She and her husband, Jeremy, worked through early labor at home for most of the night, and met me at the hospital at 8am. She was definitely in early active labor, having to concentrate through each contraction. I loved supporting this couple because they worked so well together, Jeremy supporting Christine with the relaxation exercises they had been practicing at home during her pregnancy. As labor got more intense, it took everything she had to make it through each contraction. It was an incredible effort for her to even speak, she kept alternating between too hot and too cold, and was nauseous the entire time. She experienced several moments of self-doubt ("I can't do this for hours and hours!), but pushed through it all with incredible endurance. Early in pushing, the doctor took a look at her perineum and told us, "Look how tight this is, we are going to need to cut this." Nevertheless, I coached Christine to keep all those muscles down there relaxed, and to keep her jaws and hands open (per Ina May's "Sphincter Law"). And wouldn't you know it, she opened up just fine, and birthed her baby without even a tear!! The whole birth was just so rewarding.

Julie's birth
In early July, I had the amazing privilege of attending the second birth of my very first clients! Julie's first birth was incredibly long (water broke, no contractions, pitocin, hard labor for 8 hours, only 1cm dilated, epidural, rest, FULL DILATION, and two hours of pushing!), and quite the initation to being a doula! But while spending all that time with her we bonded quite a bit, and became good friends after that. She was SO hoping to go into labor naturally this time around, but due to some complications in her pregnancy, her doctor wanted to induce her early. This was my first planned induction, and it was quite different. The pitocin didn't really do anything the first day, so they turned it off at night and gave it a go again in the morning, this time breaking her water. That got things moving along, and soon contractions became really painful. It was such a cool experience coaching her through these contractions, knowing what worked well for her with her first labor. She eventually opted for the epidural again, knowing firsthand how difficult labor was for her with a broken water bag and pitocin. Pushing went much smoother this time, and she pushed her second baby boy out in to the hands of his daddy!! (The doctor had him put on gloves to catch the baby! So crazy!) In spite of all the unwanted interventions, it was so good to support Julie and Kevin through their second birth. What an honor!

Nola's birth
This was probably my favorite birth yet. It was also my longest (second only to Julie's first!), and most challenging. Actually, there is so much that I want to say about it that I'll save it for another entry. Stay posted! It's a good one!

Jamie's birth
Finally, in August, I had my last birth of the summer. Jamie had been hoping and preparing for a natural birth, staying at home for as long as possible, and laboring in their secluded outdoor hot tub. Unfortunately, she had tested positive for Group B Strep, which meant that if her water broke, they would want her to get to this hospital right away. Which is what happened. When they got to the hospital, the nurse started pitocin, and I arrived shortly thereafter. Labor wasn't too painful at first, but quickly intensified and she needed lots of support. We tried different positions and relaxation techniques, and definitely utilized the shower a few times. She was laboring beautifully, and was doing a great job with her relaxation, and getting into a rhythm as labor got more difficult. She made it to 6cm, labored for a couple of more hours, and was still at 6cm. She had had enough, and chose to get an epidural. This allowed her to get some rest (it was about 11pm and she had been in pitocin-induced labor ALL day), and was completely dilated at around 3 in the morning. She pushed like a CHAMP for 2 hours in all different positions, but the baby was not budging. The doctor recommended a c-setion, which she agreed to, and after quite a rough procedure her baby boy was born (they discovered that he was OP, or "sunny-side up," which is why he wasn't moving through the birth canal. Babies can definitely be born in this position, but this little guy didn't want to budge). The doctor had arranged for me to go into the operating room to sit with Jamie while they stiched her up (since dad would go with baby to the nursery). This was a very cool experience, as I got to be with her as she saw her baby and kissed him for the first time, and as dad got to hold him. It was such a surreal and sweet moment. And it was such a joy that I was able to be with her for the next few hours, rubbing her shoulders and neck, and just making sure that she knew she was cared for even though things obviously didn't turn out as planned.

All in all, I'd say it was a pretty awesome summer in the birth department. I don't have any clients lined up for the immediate future, and I have to say that it feels AMAZING to not be on call. And while I'm taking a litttle break from births, I'm working together with some very talented friends on a super-amazing, top secret project, that will hopefully be ready for the public sometime late this fall... I can't wait to show you!

The Big Nurse-In and Other Thoughts

2011-06-04T14:31:00.011-05:00

Last week, a friend of mine was harassed and kicked out of a local resale shop for breastfeeding her baby.

In response, the Crunchy Moms of DeKalb (a local mothering group I helped pioneer last summer), organized a "nurse-in." (Just typing those two words together makes me smile :). Unfortunately, Greg and I had already made plans and were on our way out-of-town Thursday morning, the day of the nurse-in, but I was cheering all those mamas on in spirit, and through facebook.

Driving along Rte 64, I called my mom to check in about a few things, and to share the excitement of the impending nurse-in with her. I was laughing with excitement and just the pure hilarity of it all, but quickly sobered up as she expressed concern and even mild disgust about the whole thing (she had read the article about it in the paper that morning)...

My mom. MY mom was on the other end of the line tell me how inappropriate it is for a mom to nurse uncovered in a public place. My mom, who was with me when I nursed Lucy for the first time in the hospital. My mom, who watched me nurse (covered) in her home, at coffee-shops, and at restaurants. My mom, who cheered me on as I put together our nursing pumpkin display at Pumpkinfest last fall. MY mom, who nursed ME when I was a baby!

Now, don't get my wrong--my mom is an awesome lady. Actually, the fact that she is awesome and has a problem with open nursing got me thinking. That the mother of a crunchy-granola-lovin', tree-hugging, garden-growing, nature-loving, one-grain-short-of-a-hippie daughter would still have a problem with this sort of thing.

And it got me thinking about my pre-mommy days, when I, too, was a little appalled when I saw or heard of a mother nursing her baby without a cover. Even after I had Lucy, though I had no problem nursing her in public, I always did it with my trusty hooter-hider covering me and my tiny baby. At church, I even retreated to the sectioned-off area in the nursery designated for nursing moms only. (Why I felt comfortable nursing Lucy at Borders but not at church is beyond me, and probably worthy of its own blog post...).

I have really grown a lot in my understanding and appreciation of the breastfeeding relationship since becoming a mother, and especially since becoming a party of the Crunchy Moms. Just being around other moms nursing comfortably and openly around each other in a public place has been so liberating! I'm sure with our next child I'll be even more open and comfortable with nursing in public.

But then I think again about my mom, and so many others who have just not been exposed enough to breastfeeding as a beautiful, normal, and essential activity, and have been exposed too much to breasts as strictly sexual objects.

With Lucy, I used my cover for modesty, yes, but mainly for the benefit of others--to avoid awkwardness and making them feel uncomfortable. Really, the last thing I want is to cause a big scene or to be looked upon as some sort of lactation extremist who has no regard for others around her. But the first thing I want is for our community and our culture to look kindly upon breastfeeding mothers, even when the breastfeeding happens in public.

And what better way to influence our culture for the better than to be a living example of the beauty of the breastfeeding relationship, just like my friend was doing last week??

I have no idea. Thoughts?

A Week of Birthy Goodness

2011-04-04T13:49:00.004-05:00

I have had the best week.

It started off Thursday evening with a panel discussion/presentation by five AMAZING women (including, hopefully, my future midwife!! I <3 her :). Saturday, I took part in "Birth Matters: A Whole Life Event" at The House Cafe where I was blessed with a looong but super fun day of great conversation, networking, and meeting other moms and moms-to-be in our community! DeKalb's little community of natural birth and holistic living professionals is definitely taking off, and it's so fun to be a part of it!

To top off my awesome week, I'll be presenting at the Sycamore Library this Thursday at 6:30pm at a "Meet the Doulas" event, presented by the Whole Life Education Center (more on this center coming soon!). If you're free this Thursday, stop on by! I'd love to see you :)

Extremely Normal.

2011-02-21T19:50:00.009-06:00

(names changed for the protection and privacy of the family and midwife)

Sometimes I wonder what runs through most people's minds when they hear of couples who choose homebirth.
Hippies.
Unsafe.
Reckless.
Selfish.
Extreme.

Those are certainly the kinds of thoughts I had long before my childbearing days. And my hunch is that the average person is quite similar. But while I was participating in my first homebirth this past weekend, I was struck by how normal it all seemed.

I was the first one to arrive at Mark and Karen's house at 12am Sunday morning. A post-it on the door read "come on in," and Mark came downstairs to greet me. It was dark, quiet, and peaceful. Karen was upstairs in their bedroom in early active labor (she had been contracting since 5am). She looked really good in-between contractions, and asked if she could get me anything (the true spirit of a mother!). I noticed her tensing up and straining her face during contractions, and my doula instincts kicked in as I encouraged relaxation, promising that it really would hurt less if she relaxed!

Thier midwife, Julie, arrived at around 12:30 with a calm and confident presence, and it was amazing how she blended seemlessly into this couple's labor. She got her things arranged on a chair in the bedroom, and showed me what each thing was in case she needed me to hand something to her (pitocin in case of hemmorage, suction tube for baby, oxygen tank, etc.). And then we waited. There was no unnecessary checking of the cervix, no hussle and bustle, no beeping machines.

Her mom and her sister arrived for help and support, and we filled the birth tub with warm water. Everyone was focused on helping Karen, and creating a comfortable and safe environment for her birth. Several hours later contractions started getting noticeably more difficult. At first, Karen would cope by stating simply "relax, relax"--almost as a reminder to herself. As it got more difficult to her, she would simply say "pain," or "hurt" as each contraction began, and then "relax." Since labor was obviously progressing, Julie decided to check her, and found that she was 7 centimeters! By this time the tub was full and warm, so Karen labored there for a long while. "It kills," "It's killing me," her chants shifted as she was deep into the hardest part of her labor. But it wasn't a cry of hopelessness or suffering. She remained present and in-the-moment, and was simply being raw and honest about the pain she was experiencing. We all empathized with her, and gently reminded her that it wasn't killing her, but bringing life. Her sister prayed for strength and comfort, and Karen called out to God as well.

Julie and I decided to leave the room and let Mark and Karen have some time to themselves before the birth of their baby. Thirty minutes later Julie decided to check her again, and found that she was completely dilated! Pushing was unusually long and difficult for a second-time mom, and after a while Julie wanted her to walk up and down the stairs a few times to encourage the baby's descent through her pelvis. She pushed in a variety of positions--lying on her side, squatting, and leaning on the bed. Finally the baby was close to being born, and Karen was lying on her side in her bed. During a particularly strong push, her water broke! Several contractions later, she pushed her baby down, and the head emerged! It was an exciting moment, but after a few more strong pushes the rest of the baby's body did not come. "Hands and knees, hands and knees," Julie commanded, collected but urgently. Karen turned over as quickly as possible, and Julie used her hands to help rotate the baby's shoulders, and hooked her finger under the armpit to help bring the baby out.

Audra Joy was born safely at home at 5:30 am. She was placed under her mother, who was still on hands and knees, and immediately latched on to nurse! We cleaned up all around them as they got situated in the bed. There was no rush to clamp the cord, and Julie made sure it had finished pulsing before she did so. The placenta took a while to detach, but it finally did and came out intact (and I got to hold it!!)

Today Julie wrote in an e-mail to me, "You saw a shoulder dystocia handled just fine at home. Baby and mom just fine. It is always such a big hassle in the hosp because most times mom has an epidural that inhibits her from moving onto hand and knees if needed. These situations can be hairy but resolved safely without being rough with the baby." People assume that hospital birth is a much safer option, but I observed the opposite. If this mom was in the hospital and had an epidural, the outcome could have been dire.

Mark and Karen were anything but reckless, or selfish, or extreme people; they were a kind, loving, and educated couple. They worked beautifully together to bring life into the world in the comfort and safety of their home, with the help of their family and midwife. Driving home I realized that though viewed as a radical choice, homebirth truly is extraordinarily normal event.

My Dilemma

2011-01-01T19:04:00.007-06:00

My daughter turned two just before Christmas, and I can just feel it. Everyone is waiting for another big announcement.

It's true that my husband and I are starting to think about number two. But ideally, before I get pregnant again, I'd like to know where and with whom I plan to give birth.

With my first pregnancy, it was a given. We chose OB's for our prenatal care and gave birth in a hospital--any other type of birth was just not on the radar. I used the nine months of my pregnancy to get informed about birth, and decided I wanted a natural birth for a slew of reasons... but I really didn't know a lot! I had no idea that the c-section rate for our country (and my chosen hospital) was over 30%. I didn't know what pitocin was. And I thought doulas were for women who weren't confident in their husbands ability to support them in labor.

Against all odds, I was blessed with an amazing birth experience in the hospital, in spite of its routine procedures and distractions. My labor started spontaneously at 38 weeks on the nose, and I was able to stay at home until I was 7cm dilated, enabling me to have a truly intervention-free birth!

Since becomming a doula, though, I have realized many sad realities of the way birth is treated in our country--both through reading books and from firsthand experience as a doula. So despite my great experience in the hospital the first time around, I am plagued with the knowledge of what could happen should things not go as smoothly for me as they did the first time.

I've thought and thought about my options (and regretted the lack thereof), and I just cannot decide. Some days (usually after attending a hospital birth) I think, "No way. I am not doing that again." Other days, I feel like homebirth is just not worth the hassle.

So I thought it'd be helpful to write out a list of pros and cons. Here they are:

Hospital Birth.

Pros:

I've done it once and had a great experience. I could probably do it again.
I really do like my OB's, in spite of the way they sometimes practice.
The hospital is equipped with a level 2 nursery should my baby need immediate medical attention.
Both my doctor's office and the hospital are a mere 3-minute drive from my front door.
Insurance would undoubtedly cover our expenses.
Maid service.
Room service.

Cons:

One in three pregnant women who walks into our hospital walks out with a scar on her stomach. C-sections have many risks, the greatest of which is maternal death (which is why our nation's maternal mortality rate is shockingly high).
Pitocin (which is not even approved by the FDA for non-medical induction NOR have any studies been published on its long-term affects on mom or baby) is given without a second thought to a large majority of laboring women.
Because I will probably be diagnosed with gestational diabetes again, the doctors will threaten induction at 38 or 39 weeks. Now I know that I can refuse to be induced, (and I believe that in most cases induction is more risky than waiting for labor to begin on its own). But I've seen how much stress is caused by women butting heads with their doctors at the end of pregnancy. It can be so so stressful and terribly unhealthy.
If my water breaks before labor begins, I will be on the clock. (They say a woman has 24 hours to deliver after her water has broken because of "risk of infection.") What she usually doesn't know is that if she is at home, and there are no doctors sticking their fingers up her vagina, the risk of infection is next to nothing. AND labor almost always starts up naturally within 48 hours.
I will be cared for under the medical model of care as opposed to the midwifery model of care.

Homebirth.

Pros:

My primary caregiver will be a midwife. This in itself is a very enticing factor.
I will be cared for under the midwifery model of care as opposed to the medical model of care
Statistically, planned homebirths are just as safe for babies, and are actually safer for moms.
Countries where homebirth is normal and common have WAY better outcomes than we do in the United States.
I will be able to spend my entire labor in the comfort of my home.
Family members (my mom & my sister) will be able to be a huge support and help to me during my labor.
I could labor and/or give birth in a tub.
I will be in my own clothes.
I will be able to eat and drink freely.
My daughter could be involved with the birth, depending on the time of day.

Cons:

Having to deal with the hassle of well-meaning albeit ill-informed friends and family members.
If my baby needs intense and immediate medical care, I won't be at a hospital. (Although midwives are equipped to deal with most medical emergencies and our hospital is a mere three minutes away).
The closest legal midwife is about an hour away. That means driving an hour for each prenatal visit, and risking that she may not make it in time if I have a quick labor (which I likely will).
The closest "underground" midwife (that I know of) is about 30 minutes away. If I choose her, our chances of insurance covering the birth are slim to none. Plus my husband is uneasy about hiring an underground midwife (despite the fact that these midwives are legal in over half of the 50 states).

So there you have it. Honestly, I'm not 100% comfortable with either option, and ideally would choose a birth center for our next birth if it were an option. (The closest one is in Oak Park--an hour away, depending on traffic). There, I would be cared for by midwives in a home-like setting, in a facility that would be able to handle any unforseen medical emergencies. Another option would be seeing an OB in Sandwich (30 minutes away) who is not quite as intervention-happy as the OB's here in DeKalb, and would truly support me in my desires for a natural birth. (The C-section rate at his hospital is 24%). I could also see midwives who practice at a hospital in Aurora.

Aargh. I hate having to make this decision. I guess I'll do a little more reading and interview a few more midwives and that OB from Sandwich, and trust that my path will be made clear. There's really no rush to make a decision... at least not for now :)

I Think This is Why I Love Birth So Much

2010-09-07T13:16:00.005-05:00

It's totally unpredictable. And you can't control it, no matter how hard you try.

I got a call last Sunday morning from a client's husband saying that his wife's water had broken. And she wasn't due until the end of September. Surprise! Luckily, I wasn't in Chicago visiting my sister, or in another state visiting friends. We were in town, so I dropped everything, grabbed my doula bag and put my DONA pin on my shirt, got my family situated with basic instructions and frozen pizza, and headed out the door. And despite the many interventions used to get this baby out, I loved it. It definitely wasn't an ideal birth, but I loved that I got called when I least expected it, and stayed up all night when I wasn't planning on it, and witnessed the absolute miracle of a child being born on a Monday morning when I otherwise would have been sleeping.

When people ask me why I am a doula, or why I love birth so much, I usually say something like, "I just love to push my body--it's such an empowering accomplishment!" or "I love trusting that my body can do what it was created to do!" But last night I was lying in bed thinking about it, and I realized that the real reason I love birth so much is because you can't control it. Unlike almost everything else in this on-demand culture, labor and birth cannot be manipulated to happen when and how we want it to. Not that people don't try, but when they do, a less-than-ideal outcome usually results.

Labor connects us with our bodies in a very unusual way. It just happens, and it doesn't stop until the baby is born! It takes a great deal of determination, focus, and self-discipline to come to grips with this fact, to turn inward, and let your body do what it was made to do. No matter how little sleep you're running on. No matter what time of day or night. No matter if you had plans to go shopping that day. Birth demands that you drop absolutely everything and come face to face with who you are in your deepest, most intimate parts.

At the birth last week, the mom said, "I wish I could just take a break from labor for a little bit, go out and grab some dinner, and then come back." I totally empathized with her, but the reality is that she couldn't! And that's the beauty of it.

There is a power in being powerless. In trusting that someone much greater than you has you in his hands. There is a beauty in giving up the control that we so desperately struggle to have every single day--in joyfully submitting to the power of labor and the divinely inspired design for birth. It is so empowering to be free of fear, in spite of the pain and your lack of control, and to embrace every single moment with thankfulness and trust.

And this is why I love birth so much.

A Birth Story

2010-08-09T12:21:00.004-05:00

One of the many things that comes along with having me as a doula is a written birth story. Here is an example of one, from my last birth...

Madeleine’s Birth
28 June 2010

I got a call at around 5:45 on the morning of June 27th, saying that you had been having some consistent, albeit not too painful contractions since 2:30! You and Rob were both taken off guard because you were expecting the contractions to be coming more like 20 to 30 minutes apart, as opposed to the 5-6 minutes apart that you were experiencing. Since it was obviously early labor (and would be for a long time!), you labored at home with Rob all day.

I got another call that evening a little after 5. You said the contractions were becoming more uncomfortable, and we decided that I should come to your house in a half-hour or so. Christina (the doula-in-training) and I arrived there at around 5:45, and your contractions became more spaced out—up to nine minutes apart! We had a hunch that the new people in the room caused your body to slow down a bit, so you and Rob went for a walk at around 6:30 to try and get things moving again. It seemed to work, because when you got back at around 7:30 you were saying that your contractions were “not fun.” You were coping very well, though, standing up and pacing through each one, sometimes leaning on Rob or against a wall. You also started experiencing nausea around this time. Rob offered to get a saucepan in case you had to throw up. :)

At around 9:00 the contractions were getting more painful and closer together, so we decided to head to the hospital. We walked into the emergency room entrance, and the guy at the front desk tried to make you sit down in a wheelchair to go up to the maternity ward, but your contractions were much more painful when you were sitting, so you fought it. He eventually gave in and let you walk. When we got upstairs, they checked you in to triage, and our nurse, Gina, checked your cervix. Unfortunately and surprisingly you were only 1 to 2 centimeters dilated. This was super discouraging news, but you took it really well. After talking it over with Rob, you decided that you wanted to go back home to continue laboring there.

Shortly after we returned home, your body decided it was time to get down to business. Your contractions almost immediately picked up in both intensity and frequency (though they were never a consistent amount of minutes apart). At around 11 pm you noticed some bleeding when you went to the bathroom. Rob called Dr. Kruskol, who reassured you that it was most likely from the vaginal check at the hospital. You continued laboring upstairs with a fan blowing on you, while munching on frozen blackberries—it was HOT! We placed the exercise ball, which Rob had thankfully blown up earlier in the day, on the end of the futon. You got into a rhythm of lying down on the futon between contractions, and standing up and leaning over the ball during them. You and Rob were both so very tired, since you had been awake and in labor for almost 24 hours. You wanted so badly to be able to lie down during the contractions, but the pain was just too much! You had to stand up in spite of your exhaustion. You were also struggling with nausea, but were never able to throw up and relieve the sickness you were feeling. This was definitely active labor, and you were handling it so well in spite of the heat, your tiredness, feeling sick, and the intense pain.

At around 1 am, I suggested a shower to try and help with the pain, and you reluctantly agreed, but because of the heat it wasn’t much of a help. You and Rob got out after a short 10 minutes or so, and your contractions were becoming closer together, averaging at 4 to 6 minutes apart. We headed back upstairs, but after a several minutes of very frequent and intense contractions, we decided it was time to head back to the hospital.

We entered the emergency room entrance for a second time, and this time you could not talk them out of making you use a wheelchair. So you sat down, but every time a contraction hit, you made the guy pushing you stop the chair so you could stand up and lean on one of us for support. At around 2am, we arrived in triage and Gina checked you again—you had progressed to 7 to 8 centimeters dilated!!! There was a lot of blood, and your very intense contractions were right on top of each other. Your body was quickly approaching full dilation!

We were sent to room 2606, and you were hooked up to a fetal heart rate monitor and a capped IV was put in your arm. You were feeling a lot of pressure and shortly thereafter you began to feel an urge to push. Gina checked you and you were at 9cm. She told you not to push, but you couldn’t help it! I helped coach you through those contractions with light breaths, and finally, at around 3am, you were given the go-ahead to start pushing! That strong urge to push had gone away, though, and you were unsure about how to do it. But after a few good tries you were really making progress. Gina was checking you during one of those initial pushes, and she said she felt the baby’s head move down over an inch! Despite your tiredness and the extreme pain, you had so much power and strength!! The pain of pushing actually seemed to frighten you, but the nurse and I assured you that it was normal, and you buckled down to get your baby out.

At 3:12am Dr. Kruskol checked you and confirmed that you were fully dilated, and the baby’s head was moving down through your pubic bone. We could see her hair and her wrinkly little scalp! You were so focused and determined. Finally, at 3:36am Madeleine was born into the world, and was placed on your chest right away. All the pain and pressure of labor was immediately gone, and you were completely enraptured in your new little one. “Oh my god, she’s so little!” were your first words after seeing her. Rob cut her cord, and you and Madeleine were both anxious to breastfeed as the doctor was stitching you up. When he was finally through, you and Madeleine settled in for a nice, long nursing session. She latched on immediately and nursed contentedly for at least an hour—the first hour of your family’s new life together.

One more reason not to get induced...

2010-06-26T21:46:00.008-05:00

Today I received the latest edition of DONA's International Doula publication, which I love. So I gave myself a much-needed break from mommy-hood (while Lucy was napping, of course) and sat out on the back deck with a glass of water and my new magazine, for what I thought would be a nice, relaxing little respite.

But after skimming through the opening pages, I came to the cover story, "Is Pitocin Associated with Childhood Autism?" and my mental state of relaxation quickly shifted to shock and alarm, and increased with each paragraph as I read.

I learned that in 1980, only one in 5,000 children was diagnosed with autism. Each year, this number has been climbing rapidly until today, when one in 110 children are diagnosed with the disorder. Shocking, I know. Extensive studies have been done on the possibility of a connection between vaccines, genetics, and environmental toxins and autism, but only recently have they begun to address the possibility that autism could be caused or triggered by the ever-increasing medical management of birth.

A letter written by an association of midwives was published in Autism Today, which stated that "...virtually 100% of medically managed births are subjected to a high level of pharmaceutical interventions that have never been approved for use in fetuses. It seems prudent to research the possible association with pharmaceutically augmented labors [with Pitocin] in an attempt to discover the cause of the rising tide of autistic disorders. It may be necessary to amend our current obstetrical practices..." Ya think!?

Also in the letter was cited the complete nonexistence of autism in children who were born under the midwives' care, with no medication during their mothers' labors (the practice is 20-years old).

The article went on to discuss further the probable connection between Pitocin and autism by addressing the fact that natural oxytocin is also called the "love hormone," and autism seems to be the absence of the ability to express or experience feeling, empathy, etc. In an article published in Newsweek in 1996, Dr. Eric Hollander (Director of an Autism Disorder program in NY) says that "Most of the mothers of patients we see have had Pitocin-induced labor," and that "Pitocin somehow messes up the newborn's oxytocin system, producing the social phobias of autism."

Actually, oxytocin is currently being used in autistic adult patients in a nasal spray. Benefits of the medication are an increase in "sensitivity, generosity, and trust," as well as inscreased "eye contact, facial recognition, social cues, and identification of emotions," which further demonstrates the hormone's connection with emotion and love. Research has already proven that autistic people have lower levels of oxytocin than normal.

Here's one more quote and then I'll wrap this up... Dr. Michel Odent, author and childbirth expert, states "we are learning that, among humans, the period surrounding birth is a period of dramatic reorganization of central oxytocin binding. Artificial induction of labour creates situations that undoubtedly interfere with the development and the reorganization of the oxytocin system in such a critical period." The information we glean from this quote, and the countless other studies and statistics on interventions during labor and birth, should be a serious reminder to us all that the natural birth process should not be tampered with unless absolutely necessary.

Now I know that this is pretty scary information, and probably almost every mother reading this has had Pitocin given intravenously at some point in her labor, either during or after birth. I also know that sometimes the use of Pitocin is necessary for a healthy outcome, and by all means the benefits of its use sometimes outweigh the risks. The last thing I want is for you mothers to feel bad, or guilty, or fearful for your child's future. But I DO hope that this encourages you to continue becoming informed and empowered for future births, and that you'll be able to spread the word to other mamas-to-be so that they can make the best choices for themselves and their babies. And by all means, get a doula, as their presence during labor has been proven to make labor progress more rapidly, minimizing the risk of your need for augmentation by Pitocin.

Crunchy Moms

2010-06-09T20:22:00.007-05:00

Last night, I met with friend and former client, Natasha Gidaszewski, to discuss a new group we're launching--Crunchy Moms of DeKalb! How exciting!!

Natasha came up with the idea for the group, because as a "crunchy" mommy herself, she wanted a supportive group of moms to learn from and have fun with. She said that everything she had learned about natural parenting (ie cloth diapering, baby-wearing, breastfeeding, etc.)she had gleaned from forums and websites online, and she decided that we need a local resource for all this stuff! And I agreed.

So here we go! We have so many ideas and visions for the group it's almost too much! A big part of Crunchy Moms is the play group, so once or twice a week, at different locations, we'll have that. Sometimes there will be a theme or lesson for the moms to go along with the group, like making your own cleaning supplies, taking creative photographs of your families, budget home-decorating, cloth diapering, being a green mother, and more! Natasha says, "there will definitely be a healthy mix of child-focused things and mother-focused things."

Occassionally we'll line up a guest speaker for a more in-depth evening session/discussion sans children (topics could include breastfeeding, babywearing, natural childbirth, etc). And we're tossing around the idea of a book club, too!

Philanthropy, or "giving back," will also be a part of the group. We've discussed volunteering at We Care Pregnancy Clinic and providing meals for new mamas in need. Other ideas?

And yet another inspiration we have is to do a "Mama's Night In," where we'll congregate at someone's house, make granola, bake bread, have a potluck, have a crunchy movie night, or learn to crochet. Sound good?

Now by no means do you have to be a one-hundred percent certified organic crunchy granola mom to join the group. Heck, I'm not, and I don't really know anyone who is. But if you're at all interested in living life and mothering more naturally, then this group is for you. To stay informed and updated on all events and happenings, join us on Facebook. And don't forget to add your input on the discussion "First meeting/playdate!" See you there!

You Can Do It.

2010-05-26T20:43:00.004-05:00

Let's face it: birth is scary. It's unknown. If you've never given birth before, and you live in America, you will, without a doubt, have apprehensions about your ability to birth your baby. I did, for sure. And I don't know any other mom who didn't question herself as she approached her due date.

Why is this? Why do we question our bodies' abilities to give birth, when millions of other women have gone before us and have done just fine?

There are lots of reasons, I think. There are the notorious and unhelpful horror stories told to us as pregnant women, about how unbearably painful labor is. There is the media. The countless pictures of "perfect" bodies we encounter every day certainly do not serve to help our self-images or to boost our confidence in our bodies. There are our doctors, who treat us as if we were a problem to be managed medically, and not as the powerful and truly capable women we are. And the list goes on...

But here's the good news--what no one tells you and what they don't want you to know:

YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT!!!

If you're educated about the process, well prepared, and have a good support system (doula!), it's not nearly as scary as they say it is. Labor is totally manageable.

I was talking to our local Bradley Method instructor, Susan Booker, about it after observing one of her classes. During the class, she walked us through an average labor--how long your contractions are compared to the amount of resting in-between. I learned that in the typical labor, your uterus is contracting only 11% of the time. ELEVEN PERCENT! So when you hear one of those horror stories about the 20-hour-long labor, she was actually only having contractions for a little over two hours. The early ones don't even hurt! And by the time your labor is really getting going, you have hopefully gotten yourself into a good rhythm and wonderful endorphins are pumping through your veins. You've had a chance in early labor to experiment with what feels good and what makes it worse. And your loving and supportive partners are surrounding you, helping you get through every second.

And contractions aren't normal pain. As many natural childbirth advocates say--it's "pain with a purpose." Labor pain is not sudden or severe, like getting your hand smashed with a hammer or stubbing your toe. It is intense, and in the heat of labor it's honestly quite crazy. But your contractions ebb and flow like a wave. They start soft, build up and then peak, and once you've made it over the top, you sort of float back down to several more minutes of rest and relaxation as you prepare for the next one. As your labor progesses, the contractions get "longer, stronger, and closer together" (as my childbirth ed teacher, Beth, always said), and you get less time to rest. It gets so, sooo hard. But that means it's almost over :) As soon as a laboring mom feels like she doesn't know how much longer she can go on, she's usually minutes away from pushing her baby into the world.

I remember when I was pregnant, worrying about whether or not I would be able to give birth without an epidural or other interventions, talking with my good friend, Lauren (seasoned momma of 4). I told her that Greg and I were going through the Bradley book together, and had been practicing relaxation every night before bed. She said casually, "Oh, you're gonna be fine." I was so surprised at her surety! Her almost nonchalant confidence completely went against all the doubt that had been instilled in me, and gave me that much more belief in my body's truly awesome design.

And I did it. I totally did it! And it was AMAZING!! I have never experienced a higher high than what I felt after going through labor and giving birth to our beautiful daughter.

So don't listen to the doubters and the nay-sayers. Our bodies are powerful and beautiful and totally capable.

You can do it!

Eat Your Placenta

2010-05-20T15:55:00.009-05:00

From experience, I know that the first few days post-partum can be crazy in every way. You've just gone through the most physically strenuous event OF YOUR LIFE. ALL your muscles are sore from labor and pushing. Your bottom is sore from all the stretching, tearing, or cutting that happened to make way for your baby. Your stomach went from cute, firm, pregnant belly to a squishy, blubber-like pouch. You are bleeding. You don't even want to think about trying to poop. Your boobs get HUGE, solid as a rock, and oh-so-sore (not to mention they're squirting milk everywhere). You don't get any sleep, because you're up all night trying to figure out the needs of your precious, albeit alien baby whose sudden arrival has thrown everything into utter chaos. And on top of all this, you're trying to figure out how to breastfeed, which is usually much more difficult and painful than expected.

And then there are your hormones. Your raging, out-of-control, PMS-times-ten hormones.

Three days after Lucy's birth, I remember coming home from her 3-day check-up, trying to pull up the driveway, and SCREAMING at my poor husband for not shovelling properly. Now I am usually a very reasonable and laid-back person. But something was happening inside of me that I couldn't control. My emotions were all over the charts, and I was not myself. And it's not just me--practically every mom I know has experienced some version of this emotional upheaval, without realizing that it's normal, and that it can actually be avoided...

I learned a few weeks ago (at the 1st Annual Chicago Doulas Conference!), that all mammals (except for humans) eat their placenta immediately after birth. I know. Gross, huh? But here's the scoop: while you're pregnant, your body, through your placenta, produces this incredible coctail of feel-good hormones that increases as your pregnancy progresses. After you give birth and your placenta is suddenly detached and thrown away, your body sort of comes crashing down. It's literally like going through withdrawal. So on top of everything else (see above), you have to deal with this.

Enter placenta encapsulation specialist! I know that this may seem incredibly gross, but once you get past that "eww" factor, it's really pretty cool.

The specialist will take your placenta, dry it out, and make it into a powder form. Then, she'll put it into little pills. That's it! Just take a couple each day postpartum, and you won't experience such extreme emotions--your body will have a much gentler transition to motherhood. There are other benefits, too. Moms who take their "placenta pills" have more energy postpartum, greater milk supply, and a faster recovery. And if you don't need them all, you can freeze them and use them for menopause!

There are many specialists in the Chicago area, and they usually charge around two hundred dollars. For more information, click here. Let me know if you'd like a referral!

I think those other mammals are on to something... When I'm pregnant with number two, sign me up!

A Natural Approach to Fertility!

2010-05-05T15:18:00.009-05:00

My husband and I host an open mic at the Arcedium Coffeehouse in St. Charles once a month, and last month I was perusing the big bulletin board with posters and business cards. I came across one that caught my eye. It read, "Jennifer Mercier-Bone, Doctor of Integrative Holistic Medicine."

I was intrigued.

So I took one, brought it home, and ventured to her website (check it out). WOW! As I poked around, I couldn't help but become thrilled about her ideas and her practice! I was so excited, in fact, that I sent an e-mail AND a voicemail to her office right then and there. She got back to me the next day and offered to meet me at Arcedium for coffee!

So we met last Wednesday, and had a lovely time chatting about home decor, homebirth, fertility, medicine, babies, birth politics in our state, and all things chilbirth. Throughout our conversation, I just couldn't get over the fact that there was a fertility specialist like her so close to home! (She lives in S. Elgin).

She told me a little bit of her story, and how she used to work with Reproductive Endocrinologists and Gynecologists, observing all sorts of medical procedures, especially infertility treatments. She said that she noticed two things about each and every women who came for fertility treatment. One was stress & anxiety. The other was a misaligned uterus. The stress was obvious--women trying to get pregnant without success (which is much more emotionally difficult than most realize), and the cold, sterile environment in which they were being treated. And then there was the uterus. Since she has also had training in massage therapy, she began to come up with her own ideas about massage and how it could help women with their infertility, and she created Mercier Massage Therapy, which involves several sessions of massage around the uterus and in the pelvis region. Somehow, this helps to get everything in order down there, and makes conception much more likely. She had actually just finished a book on her techniques the night before! Her website says, "It is gentle and noninvasive and has a success rate of 71% (IVF's success rate is as low as 20%)." Again I say, WOW! Thank you, God, for a practice like this, so close to home!

I was just so thrilled about the fact that there is a doctor like her in our community. Not only is she gentle, caring, and compassionate toward women and their families, but she also knows her stuff. I was so impressed by her knowledge and insight, AND by her trust our bodies' design. How refreshing to find another like-minded soul! And what a blessing it is to have Dr. Jennifer's practice to refer future mommies to.

A Whole Life Event

2010-03-17T21:07:00.020-05:00

"Birth Matters: A Whole Life Event" is coming up! On March 27th from 11-3, at The House Cafe in DeKalb, I am taking part in a birthing/holistic living open house! Greg (my husband) and I, along with another singer/songwriter, will be providing music throughout the day, and I'll be sharing a table with two other doulas. It should be a great day of communing with like-minded friends and professionals!

Stop by to meet me and other doulas, childbirth educators (including the Bradley Method!), yoga and pilates instructors, massage therapists, accupuncturists, photographers, breastfeeding specialists, members of our local ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) chapter, and more! I'll be giving away a gift certificate toward my doula services, and there will be other great prizes, too!

So come on out to The House (corner of Rte. 38 & 3rd St.) and enjoy good company, good food, and good music. :)

Lucas, Your Mama is Amazing

2010-02-26T15:32:00.009-06:00

Posted with permission.

This is me holding Lucas Isaac the day after his incredible birth. Chrissy labored like a pro for eleven-and-a-half sometimes peaceful, sometimes very crazy hours on February 24th, two weeks before her due date! Her labor contractions began at 5:30 a.m. and she called me around nine to let me know she was in labor. She sounded amazing--I could totally tell by her tone of voice that she was handling everything very well. She had a little bleeding so she decided to call the doctor's office and they told her to come in. So she did... and she was already several centimeters dilated!!! Dr. Atkins was really shocked by how well she was handling her labor at this stage!

After Chrissy called me to tell me the good news, I met them at the hospital at around 11:30. We got settled into the room and met our awesome nurse, Tara, who would stay with us for the remainder of the day. The next few hours were relatively uneventful, as Chrissy was doing a beautiful job relaxing through each contraction. At one point, Tara said to Chrissy, "we should bring a video camera in here and record you--this is how it should be done!"

At around 2:00, Chrissy was checked and she had reached 6-7 cm in dilation. I suggested a shower, because the contractions were getting more intense and water works wonders for bringing comfort to laboring moms. So she spent about a half-hour under the warm water as she entered the transition phase of labor, which is by far the hardest part. After the shower, she settled back into the bed for some serious hard work. We discovered that moaning with each out-breath helped her to deal with the pain, so Seth and I moaned with her as we stroked her body in rhythm. Chrissy became very serious and focused as the difficulty level was increasing rapidly with each contraction. She decided to go to the bathroom, and afterwards labored standing up with Seth, leaning on him for support. I cannot describe how difficult this part of her labor was. There were tears and moans and cries out to God for help. And he was surely there with us, helping Chrissy through the most physically and emotionally strenuous moments of her life.

She had reached 10 cm by 4:00 and she was ready to be done. "I'm so tired of this!" she said. "I just want it to be over!" By 4:30 she was able to start pushing, and she did an incredible job. During her first few pushing contractions, Dr. Atkins could literally see progress with each push! After she got used to the new and crazy sensations that come with this phase of labor, Chrissy got herself into a beautiful rhythm--pushing, pushing, pushing, and resting in-between. We could see his hair! He was so close! But the doctor couldn't get a good reading on the baby's heart-rate, and there were a few moments of concern... she ended up cutting a small episiotomy because this baby needed to come out. And sure enough, his cord was wrapped around his little neck, which is what was causing the drop in his heart-rate. Dr. Atkins quickly cut the cord, and Chrissy pushed her baby OUT!!! All was well and Chrissy was SO relieved that her labor was over and her baby was in her arms!

What an absolutely amazing day. I feel so blessed to have had the privilege of helping Seth and Chrissy welcome their firstborn into the world. They did an incredible job, working together through the difficult but joyful experience of labor. Seth was such a strong support to his wife, and Chrissy was so strong through it all. We have been blessed.

The Big Essay

2010-02-10T16:29:00.004-06:00

Down to the wire, I'm getting all my papers and documents in order to send in to DONA after my final birth, which is coming SOON!!! I co-hosted a shower for Chrissy this past Saturday, which was so fun and made me realize how soon her baby is coming!! We'll have our final prenatal meeting within the next week or so, and then we wait... I CAN'T WAIT!!! I'm so excited that my final certification birth will be for one of my best friends--I know she's going to do great!

So I started and finished my big essay today, which will be handed in with a plethora of other documents. Here is it:

The Purpose and Value of Labor Support

A. The benefits of labor support to the mother and her family

For the laboring mother, the advantages of having a doula are great. The mother feels more comfortable with her labor knowing that a kind and knowledgeable woman is constantly by her side. She is able to relax more freely and let go of fear, which decreases pain and speeds up labor. Statistics also show that having a doula present can decrease complications, such as the need for oxytocin and cesarean section.1 In one study, having a doula present showed an 11% decrease in the use of oxytocin and a 10% decrease in cesarean sections.2 Doulas can also greatly benefit the mother’s partner. Though he may love his partner dearly and want to support her as best he can, he has never been through anything like this and may not know what to say or do to help her best. When the couple chooses to have a doula, “the pressure on the father is decreased and he can participate at his own comfort level.”3 And astonishingly, having a doula even has benefits for the baby. In one study, 51% of babies whose mothers had a doula were breastfeeding at 4-6 weeks, as opposed to only 29% of babies whose mothers did not have a doula.4 Furthermore, significantly fewer mothers suffered from post-partum depression, and more reported a positive birth experience in the weeks following their baby’s birth.4 It is very clear that doulas are extremely helpful for not only mothers, but also for their partners and their babies.

B. The purpose behind providing labor support

The birth of her baby is arguably one of the most memorable and life-altering days of each woman’s life. Throughout history, women in labor have without question been supported by other women throughout the journey of childbirth.5 Sadly, the normalcy of this natural and beautiful support system has disappeared from the highly sterile and cold environments of American hospitals. The doula recognizes the need for women to be supported emotionally and physically during labor, and her goal is to provide this support to any woman who desires it. She also understands the need for families to experience intimate connection on the day of their baby’s birth, and her services empower them to have that connection.6

C. The doula’s responsibilities

The doula’s primary responsibility is for her client. She must do everything in her power to ensure that her client has all the support possible, and everything she needs for the most satisfying birth, according to that mom’s expressed desires. As a professional, she also has certain responsibilities she must abide by. She must possess a strong work ethic and sense of commitment to each client. For instance, she should return calls promptly, be committed to sticking to pre-arranged meeting times, and make every effort to assist the mother during the prenatal weeks, labor, and the first few weeks following the baby’s birth. She should have a respectful and courteous attitude toward her colleagues and her clients, and should respect each client’s privacy. She must also remain up-to-date with new developments in her field by continuing education, actively networking with others, and being involved in related organizations. Her fees must be fair, and she should strive to offer discounted or volunteer services when possible.7

D. The doula’s role

The role of a doula is very special and unique because of the intimate nature of the birth process. She offers a minimum of one prenatal meeting, though usually more, to get to know her clients, establish rapport, educate them on the birthing process, and to learn what she would like her birth to be like. During labor, she is with the mother at all times (except for short bathroom or food breaks), providing any support the parents need. This could be giving a massage, counter-pressure, hot/cold compresses, or instructing the partner on how to do these things. She provides reassurance that her body knows what to do, and encourages the mother to trust in the process. She could help with visualization or relaxation techniques that have been discussed at a prenatal meeting, or facilitate the spontaneous coping methods the mother may begin. The doula does not perform any medical tasks, but may guide the mother to ask questions or speak up to her care providers. She provides “support, information, and mediation or negotiation.”8

1. Table 1 in DONA’s Position Paper
2. Klaus ’86, Table 1, in DONA’s Position Paper
3. DONA’s Position Paper, page 2
4. Hofmeyr ’91 & Wolman ’93, Table 1, in DONA’s Position Paper
5. DONA’s Position Paper, page 1
6. DONA’s Position Paper, page 1
7. DONA’s Code of Ethics
8. DONA’s Standards of Practice

I Love Birth.

2010-01-29T09:59:00.007-06:00

My doula certification is coming along--I have one more birth to attend, a couple of papers to write, and a few hundred pages left to read. I have learned so much, and am realizing I have so much left to learn.

But mainly, I'm realizing more and more, that I love birth.

I love that everything about it is unpredictable--so different from everything else we can control in our day-to-day lives. If a mom is well prepared for labor, she will know that ultimately, she must surrender to the power of her surges. She must have complete trust in her body and its ability to birth her baby, and let go of any fear. It's scary at first, to relinquish control, but in the end, it is so empowering.

I love how the intensity of it brings out the reality of who we are. There is no hiding. No pretending. As labor progresses and becomes more intense, the modesty of the laboring woman becomes less and less of an issue, along with any walls she has built up around her personality. The underlying message through the groans, the breathing, and the depending on those around her is, "This is who I am!" This is the most vulnerable she will ever be.

I love that, in the best births, it's about community and togetherness--people gathering around the laboring mom as she works through the most intensely beautiful experience of her life. People imparting to her strength and courage, and helping her to draw those qualities up out of the core of who she is.

This is beauty. This is community. This is what we were made for.

And I love it.

My First Birth: A 36-Hour-Long Lesson

2009-11-08T14:43:00.010-06:00

Posted with permission.

"I will never give birth without a doula."
~Jennifer, after the birth.

Jennifer's water broke at 3am this past Thursday. 35 intense hours later, her son, Andrew, was born. Here is what I learned.

1. Doulas are crucial for not only unmedicated births, but also--maybe even more so--for births where interventions are used.

Jen and Keenon had been preparing for a natural labor and delivery, and Jen had been reading and practicing Hypnobirthing, which uses relaxation, visualization, and meditation to cope with the pain of labor. Many hours after the broken bag of waters, though, her contractions were just too weak and far apart to be helpful. But the doctor was very patient, and waited until 6:45 pm to start augmentation with pitocin. It took an hour or so for contractions to really get started up, but when they did they were pretty painful, continuing to get stronger and closer as time passed. Jen did an amazing job of staying focused and breathing through each contraction, and Keenon was such a strong support to her. I suggested different positions and tried to create a relaxing environment for them to labor in. When things really started getting intense, she settled in the bed for some concentrated focus and relaxing. I was reading a meditation script to her, which helped get her focused, and after that she came up with her own ritual (a sign that she was really coping well). She started repeating in her head, "in love, out pain" with each breath, as I stood by her side and repeated that mantra out loud. After about eight hours of laboring with pitocin, the nurse checked her and she was still only 1cm dilated. This was awful, disheartening news. The good news was that her cervix was 100% effaced, or thinned out, which is what we had been accomplishing for the past eight hours. This was probably a low-point in the labor--Jen was so discouraged, and in her discouragement expressed that she just wanted to get a c-section and be done. Keenon was also in a state of disbelief, and very concerned for his wife. I knew, though, that they were speaking out of pure emotion, and in the end would most likely regret it if that was what happened. The nurse (who had been rather prickly up until this point) really came through, and with me, encouraged an epidural, some rest, and to go from there. Which brings me to point number two...

2. Epidurals can be very, very helpful.

Under normal conditions, I believe that women have an innate strength to get them through labor, if they are well-educated, prepared, and have a strong support system around them. This was not a normal circumstance, though, and the options were either an epidural and some rest, or a c-section. Thankfully, they decided an epidural would be the best way to go, and this was given at 3:30 a.m.

3. It is impossible to sleep in the waiting room, no matter how tired you are.

Heather (Jen's best friend, who was also a part of the support team) and I left the room so Jen and Keenon could get some much-needed sleep. We begged the nurse for some hospital blankets and headed out to the waiting room. After 2 hours of twisting and turning from floor to chair to small-hard-couch-thingy, we headed back to the room to see how things were progressing.

4. When working as a doula, I hold up just fine on zero sleep.

I walked back in the room, bright-eyed and feeling like a million bucks (well, almost). The nurse came to check Jen at 6am, and she had progressed to four centimeters! The baby was also moving down. This was awesome news! We still had quite a ways to go, but we were making progress. Friday morning was less intense than the night before, but still required constant vigilance and attending to Jen. I felt totally awake and sustained by the prayers of friends who were praying for me and for Jen and Keenon. What a blessing.

5. The "24-hour rule" can be bent if both mom and baby are doing well.

Typically, after the bag of waters breaks, the clock starts ticking--doctors say they will have the baby out 24 hours later one way or another because of the risk of infection. But as we were well past the 24-hour mark and there was no talk of c-section, I was hopeful that her baby could still be born vaginally. (After the birth, I asked a nurse why they let her go so long without operating, and she said it was because the baby's heart rate was strong and Jen was doing really well. It would have been nice to know this was a possibility!)

6. Emotions are ten times stronger when running on no sleep and adrenaline.

We didn't know this at the time, but around 11:00 the doctor had told the nurse to get the papers ready for a c-section and to bring them in for Jen to sign, but to check her one last time just in case. So she came in, checked her, and said, "I don't feel any cervix!" I couldn't contain myself--I was so happy I started crying. They asked, "Is that good?" I said, "Yes, this is so good! We made it! You can start pushing!!" It was a beautiful moment. Our awesome new nurse started rushing around to get the room ready for a baby!

7. Women can be strong. So, so strong.

Before she was checked, Jen started feeling the contractions getting stronger. She started having a urge to poop, and I was suspicious that we were nearing the end (having felt that same sensation not too long ago myself). She started having to really focus on her breathing during each contraction, and soon, it seemed like she didn't have the epidural at all. She also started getting pretty emotional, and losing her focus (which we later discerned was a sign that she was in the transition stage of labor--between 7 and 10 cm). Thankfully, her friend Heather knew just how to calm her down and talk her through it. Then I informed her that the pushing stage was going to get very intense again, and that she was going to have to draw from all her inner strength. The room was ready, the spotlights turned on. Heather and I each grabbed a leg while Keenon stood by her head, and the nurse coached her on how to push. She was in so much pain, and could feel everything, but she was so strong for her baby. For two hours, I counted to 10 for each push, which was 3 or 4 times per contraction. She was exhausted, but so focused, and took advantage of every second between contractions to rest. After almost a day-and-a-half of no sleep and barely any food, I was blown away by her strength. She pushed Andrew out into the world at two o'clock pm.

8. The minutes after birth are the most beautiful, spiritual, and love-filled moments ever.

Their new baby was placed on Jennifer's chest. There were tears, kisses, and so much love between their new family. I was crying and taking pictures, doctors and nurses were bustling around attending to Jen and the baby as she held him. But they were in the zone. Nothing could distract them from the miracle of what was happening. I am so blessed and thankful to have been a part of this incredible journey.

The Doula: A Hindrance to Family Bonding?

2009-10-08T20:12:00.007-05:00

“Not only was it nice having someone familiar with the processes…in the thick of labor, I knew my wife felt so supported by Kim. It made all the difference, and I'm going to insist Kim be there for our next child.” ~Seth, on having a doula at his son's birth

I had a couple recently who expressed interest in having a doula, but were concerned that having another person there might take away from the intimacy of the experience. She said that they had been together for a long time, and had a very close relationship, and that was the one thing that made them a little bit hesitant about the whole doula thing.

I really do think that theirs is a totally valid and legitimate concern. Giving birth to your baby is one of the most memorable things you will ever do, and it's something that you will remember for the rest of your life! Having a doula there, or anyone else besides your partner, is truly a big decision that requires a lot of thought.

While in the end, it is totally up to you to decide, I thought I’d blog a little about my thoughts on the topic.

If you are giving birth in a hospital, there will likely be many professionals buzzing about you. Some you choose, like your doctor (who is usually only with you for a fraction of the time you are in labor), and others you don’t, like your nurses. A doula is a professional, just like a nurse or doctor, who will be there for your birth. The differences are that you choose who your doula will be, and that her sole purpose is to make sure you are okay. She doesn’t work for the hospital—she works for you.

As a doula, I encourage laboring moms to stay at home in early labor, where they can relax in a familiar environment and work with their partner to get into the rhythm of labor together. I ask that each mom calls me when she thinks she is in labor, so I can stark making arrangements for my family and be there when she needs me, but I will not come until the mom feels like labor is getting more intense and could use some extra support and encouragement. So if the mom is having a “textbook” labor, there will be plenty of time at home with just her and her partner.

When I do join the couple, at home or at the hospital, if they seem to be coping well and getting through the contractions just fine, I will gladly step back and let the dad continue supporting the laboring mom as he has been doing. I feel very strongly about not intruding on the bond that exists between the couple, and I strive to maintain a calm, peaceful, and reassuring presence throughout the labor and birth. Part of this is remaining calm and peaceful myself, and a big part of it is encouraging others in the room to respect the bond between the couple, and the intensity of the mother’s experience. I do this by speaking in a soft voice and encouraging the nurses to do the same, and asking the nurses to wait until the mom is not contracting to ask her questions or perform procedures when possible. This actually frees up the dad to give more of his attention to his lover, because he doesn’t have to worry about creating and sustaining that calm atmosphere, especially at a hospital birth.

If you are hoping for a natural, drug-free birth* in a hospital, I believe the role of a doula is vital. Sadly, most medical staff at the hospital are not very familiar with unmedicated birth, and don’t realize the importance of uninterrupted quiet and peacefulness so that the mother can maintain her focus to get through the contractions. When I was in active labor, I remember several times nurses bursting into the room, talking casually and loudly with one another and to me. It was a struggle to remain focused, to say the least. As I said earlier, Greg did a great job interacting with them—encouraging them to lower their voices and not to talk to me during contractions, but that did take his time and focus off of me. As a doula, one of my goals is to free up the dad to be available for the mom as much as possible.

Obviously, when labor is getting very intense and comfort measures or relaxation are not working as well as they did earlier, I will be available to offer new suggestions. I have been well-trained on a number of different positions and coping techniques. I can apply pressure in certain areas of the back that would feel especially good if she is having back labor, and I can show the dad how to do these techniques as well. It can actually be very exhausting to give constant pressure or massage if the mom needs it, so I can take turns with the dad, or we can work together to provide double the pressure.

There are countless benefits of having a doula, and I understand that a potential drawback could be having a "third wheel" along for the ride. I definitely respect couples who would prefer to work through the process of labor and birth alone. At the same time, though, I feel that I offer a level of service that would not detract from the most memorable day of their lives, but would enhance it.

*I also offer support for women who desire medication in labor. I will discuss this more in a later post.

My Services Include...

2009-09-17T15:46:00.015-05:00

3 pre-natal meetings (topics covered include, but are not limited to: creating a birth plan, natural pain-relief techniques and comfort measures, benefits and side-effects of medications in labor, breastfeeding education and support)
Accompanyment to one pre-natal doctor visit, if desired
24/7 support by phone or e-mail throughout your pregnancy
My constant presence, encouragement, and assistance during labor from the time I arrive until mom and baby have bonded
Photographs of any part of the process, before and/or after your baby’s birth, if desired (I have a bachelor's degree in fine art, and have taken several photography courses)
One check-up visit following the birth of your baby
A written birth-story

Optional*

Stepping stone made with high-fire ceramic stoneware, with your baby's hands and/or footprints, name, and birthdate
Shadowbox picture frame with black and white photo of your baby in the center, and hand & foot prints in clay on either side. (sample pictures to come!)

*includes a small fee to cover the cost of supplies

Contact Info:

gregandkim2004@msn.com

815.766.2356

Please get in touch with me to set up an initial meeting! I would be happy to meet with you and talk about your desires for labor and birth.

Above photo by Chrissy Deming Photography

The Doula: Who She is and How She Helps

2009-08-30T09:54:00.006-05:00

"Doula" is Greek for "woman's servant." The term today has been adopted and changed a bit to mean someone who helps women in labor. She provides emotional support (caring words, encouragement), physical support (massage, gentle touch), and mental support (education) before and throughout labor and birth. She is well-educated about birth, natural pain-relief and comfort techniques, and how to make the laboring woman feel strong and in control of her body. Her calming presence during labor allows the parents to relax, knowing they have a caring friend who will not leave their side, and someone who will advocate for them throughout this new and often-times overwhelming event. She does not perform any medical tasks; her sole purpose is to be there for mom (and dad), and to make their birth experience as smooth and worry-free as possible.

When I was pregnant, I had a general idea about what a doula was, but I didn't feel like I needed one. None of our friends had had one, and I felt like Greg and I could do it on our own. Which we did, and it was amazing (see my birth story). BUT, looking back, I realize it could have been a lot better if we would have had that extra support-person. Greg was really busy while I was in labor, packing our bags, calling people to let them know this was the day, and dealing with hospital staff/procedures. Not to mention he was super nervous and--dare I say it--a little bit scared. I feel like it would have been a lot less hectic had a doula been there working with Greg to make sure everything got done and that I was being taken care of continuously (I spent a lot of time laboring by myself). Also, since we were only at the hospital for a few hours before Lucy's birth, we had the same nurse with us the whole time. Most of my friends, though, have spent many, many hours at the hospital and have had several different nurses who left them alone in the room so she could take care of other patients. One benefit of the doula is that she is always there, by mom's side.

There are also many very real, tangible, and actually quite astounding statistical benefits to having a doula. Studies have shown that doula supported women have:

Overall, a 25% decrease in the length of labor
50 % decrease in cesarean births
60 % decrease in epidurals
40 % decrease in the use of pitocin
30% decrease in the use of narcotics
30% decrease in the use of forceps*

Can you believe it?! I think that is just plain amazing.

Long-term, mothers with doulas breastfeed longer and with fewer problems, are less likely to suffer from post-partum depression, and in general have better feelings about themselves, their birth experience, and their new family. AND, their babies are more likely to have a greater appetite and fewer health problems at six weeks than their non-doula counterparts.**

*Mothering the Mother, How a Doula Can Help You Have a Shorter, Easier and Healthier Birth by Marshall H. Klaus, John H. Kennell, Phyllis H. Klaus
**The Doula Book by Marshall H. Klaus, John H. Kennell, Phyllis H. Klaus

Becoming-a-Doula Journey: Part I

2009-08-24T10:42:00.001-05:00

I don't think I've ever been more excited about much in my life than I am about becoming a doula (besides getting married, having a baby--you know, the biggies). My experience with pregnancy, labor, and birth was just so incredibly positive, and I love sending those "good vibes" out to other expecting mothers.

During pregnancy, whenever I got together with a group of women, the conversation would inevitably turn to birth stories, most of which were scary and un-encouraging. I remember one woman saying, "The pain was so bad, I thought I was going to die... and if I didn't die, I was sure I would go crazy and end up in a mental institution!" At eight months pregnant, that was definitely not what I wanted or needed to hear. So it has been my mission, since the birth of my baby girl, to combat all those negative, fear-inducing horror-stories with one of hope, beauty, and joy.

After I had Lucy, I was unable to stop thinking about what an incredible experience the whole process was. When she was about 6 months old, I abruptly came to the realization that I should become a doula! My husband, Greg, was also very excited about the idea. So I did some research and decided to pursue certification through DONA (Doulas of North America). Check it out: http://www.dona.org/.

On July 31-August 1 of 2009, as a part of my certification, I attended a weekend-long conference in Chicago. It was amazing. I learned a TON, and it was SO refreshing to spend a weekend with other like-minded women! I am now officially trained and ready move forward with the rest of my certification.

Another requirement is attending three births. My good friend, Chrissy, is pregnant (YAY!) and due in March, and I'll be serving as her doula for the birth of their baby. What a privilege! I get all choked up just thinking about it :). I am still looking for two other mamas who don't mind a somewhat inexperienced doula serving them. Of course, I won't charge for these first three births.

I am so hopeful and encouraged as I continue this process. I am thoughoughly enjoying every step--the reading, the training and community classes, and especially the networking and connecting with other pro-women professionals and friends.

My Birth Story

2009-08-19T15:54:00.004-05:00

I thought it would be a good idea to start off my blog with my own personal birth story, since this was the main event that prompted me to become a doula.

About half-way through my pregnancy, as I was contemplating how I would get my baby out when the time came, this thought quite literally popped right into my head: God made my body to give birth. I thought, women have been doing this since creation, why shouldn't I be able to do it, too? And as I looked at other moms I know, I thought that, despite their insanely crazy birth-horror-stories (more on this later), they had come out on the other side of the maternity hospital ward alive, intact, and living life just fine. This made me think that it couldn't possibly be as bad as they said it was.

So I decided that I wanted to have a "natural" birth--as free from drugs and other medical interventions as possible. Not to be a martyr or just to say that I did it, but to experience the whole process as God intended. The more I thought about it, the more I was able to find peace and confidence in the fact that God is my creator and loving Father. I was able to put my trust in his amazing design as my due date drew near.

At 2am on December 15, 2008, I woke up to go to the bathroom, as usual. Except this time I had a very intense urge to poo. So I did, the urge went away, and I went back to bed. A few minutes later, the "urge" came again, and I thought, "Oh, crap. This is labor." Since it was the middle of the night, I thought I'd try to let Greg continue his peaceful slumber so he'd have energy later to help me out as my labor progressed. But a few (intense!) contractions later, I decided to wake him up so I could tell him what to put in our hospital bags while I could still talk (we had actually planned on packing our bags that day).

It. was. crazy. Unlike most women, I didn't have an "easy" early labor, where I could get used to the feel of contractions. They hit me hard and strong, and I was overwhelmed. I remember at one point saying to Greg, "I don't know if I can do this... I might need an epidural." I think that scared him a little, but he continued to remain calm in my presence and coach me through my contractions. During pregnancy, we had read books on the Bradley Method, which really stresses relaxing through the contractions to manage the pain. It worked SOOOO well, and it didn't take me long to get into the rhythm of my labor. I labored in bed for a while, on the toilet for a little bit (my body decided to get rid of everything ahead of time, so it didn't happen on the birthing table--nice!), and sitting in the glider. We stayed at home for 7 hours before heading to the hospital, but it seemed like only 2. While we were at home, I was in such an intense "zone," drawing on all my inner strength, endurance, and self-discipline. It was actually kind of exhilarating and fun!

It was SO cold that morning, so Greg dropped me off at the entrance to the hospital and I had a couple of contractions on the bench just inside the door while he parked the car. Again I say: it. was. crazy. So intense. When Greg got inside, a nice man got a wheelchair and helped us up to the maternity ward. There were no rooms available when we got there, so they checked me in to triage. Despite the bright lights, loud noises, and many other distractions at the hospital, I managed to remain as relaxed as I could while they poked, prodded, and asked me questions. Our nurse was somewhat insensitive to the fact that I was in heavy labor, and was honestly being kind of a nuisance. But Greg, the gracious and amazing man that he is, responded very courteously to her, asked her name, and if she could refrain from asking me questions while I was contracting. She responded well, and softened up quite a bit.

Greg and I both tried hard to not get our hopes up when they "checked" me, after having heard many stories of women laboring for hours and only being a few centimeters dilated. But the moment of truth arrived--the nurse checked my cervix--I was 7 centimeters!!! I was SO encouraged, knowing that dilatation usually goes from 7-10 very quickly. Shortly after that, our Lamaze teacher, Beth, came in to encourage us along, and she told me I was doing very well. It was so good to hear that from someone who truly cared for us and was familiar with the birth process! (Looking back, I realize how helpful a doula would have been. That loving and calm voice of reassurance throughout my whole labor would have made my experience better than I could have imagined!)

I entered into the "transition" part of labor, which is when the pain is at its most intense, unbelievably strong contractions coming right on top of eachother, and started having an urge to push. The nurse said, "We had better get her into a room or she's going to have her baby in here!" The last thing I wanted to do was to move rooms, but we did it and I started pushing right away. The sensations of pushing were so unique, unlike anything I'd ever felt before. I was kind of scared to push because it hurt in such a new way, but I knew I needed to in order to get my baby out. So, with the help of Greg and a little coaching from our nurse, I did it. Lucy came squirming out to me at 12:01pm. The doctor put her right on my tummy while the nurse wiped her down. We bonded and breastfed, and my mom and sister came in to celebrate with flowers and OJ.

What's a Doula?

2009-07-03T20:54:00.004-05:00

(This is Chrissy, smiling and 5cm dilated, as we arrive at the hospital.)

Back in ancient times, a royal woman had many servants who all attended to her in different ways. But there was one servant who knew her inside and out, talked her through her problems, comforted her when she was distressed, and was there whenever she needed her. This special servant was called her "doula."

The specific translation for the word "doula" is "woman's servant." It has been adopted today to mean "a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth" (from DONA's website). Let me just touch on those three points...

Physical. Ever wonder why they call it "labor?" Because it's just that: physical labor. It is tough work! The closest thing I could compare it to would be running a really long race, only ten times harder. As a doula, I stay with the laboring mom from the time I arrive (either at home or hospital), until her baby is born and they have successfully breastfed. Throughout that time I encourage relaxation with my voice, soft touch, or massage. I suggest positions that are helpful, encouraging the baby to descend or to relieve back pain. I can also instruct the dad in different techniques, so he can play an active role in supporting his partner. And I'm there for support if mom needs someone to lean on or just a hand to hold.

Emotional. Pregnancy and birth can be a very emotional time, especially for first-time mothers. Having been there myself, I can relate very closely with what each new mom is going through. I offer continuous emotional support throughout the pregnancy, and especially during the birth.

Informational. There is so much to know about pregnancy and birth! There is way more information out there than can be soaked up in the short nine months of pregnancy. I have had extensive training and education about the birth process, and am equipped to answer your questions. I can make book recommendations based on your specific situation and desire for your birth. I also have a network of childbirth professionals to refer you to if need be. The more informed you are going into labor, the less fear you will have, and the better your experience will be!

If you're still not convinced about the helpfulness of a doula, check out these statistics:

Studies have shown that women supported by a doula during labor have:

~50% reduction in the cesarean rate
~25% shorter labor
~60% reduction in epidural requests
~40% reduction in pitocin use
~30% reduction in analgesia use
~40% reduction in forceps delivery

Long-term benefits:
~improved breastfeeding
~greater interaction between mothers and babies
~decreased postpartum depression

(Statistics from Mothering the Mother by Klaus, Kennel, and Klaus)

About Me

2009-07-02T11:33:00.011-05:00

I love birth! It is one of my greatest passions. In fact, one of the first things I said after I gave birth to my daughter was, "Let's do it again!" They all thought I was crazy, but I was not joking. It was without a doubt, the most incredible experience of my life... which is why I am a doula!

I live in DeKalb, IL, with my husband, Greg, my daughter, Lucy, and our sweet dog, Milo. When I'm not helping birthing moms, I'm spending time creating functional pottery, working in our neighborhood's community garden, singing and writing songs, playing with Lucy, or going on adventures with my family.

I am trained and certified through DONA International, which is the biggest and most respected doula assosiation in the world!

Client Quotes

2009-07-01T21:38:00.011-05:00

From the dads...

"Kim's calming voice and relaxing nature really helped my wife to relax."

“I felt completely confident in her expertise and guidance throughout the entire pregnancy, but especially during the birth.”

“Having Kim as our doula is something I would recommend to anyone.”

“Not only was it nice having someone familiar with the processes…in the thick of labor, I knew my wife felt so supported by Kim. It made all the difference, and I'm going to insist she be there for our next child.”

From the moms…

“Having Kim as my doula was one of the best decisions I've ever made.”

“Kim’s encouragement throughout my entire pregnancy gave me confidence that my body was created to have a baby and helped prepare me for the amazing challenge of childbirth.”

“One of my goals was to have a natural labor, and I know it would have been a lot more difficult without a doula. Kim provided support and suggestions to my husband and I that helped me relax and focus without overstepping her role.”

“I'm thankful that Kim was such an integral part of our support team!”

“If it's in my power, I will never give birth without her!”

*Above photos by Chrissy Deming Photography